Dear Lord, what was I thinking?!

Reading a book by Jerry Bridges right now. Something struck me today... He pointed me toward the story of the generous land owner in Matthew 20. You know the one - the workers hired early in the morning were promised a certain amotun of pay. Then the land owner hired others throughout the day, right up to one hour before the work was finished. Then he payed them, starting with the ones hired last. They received the amount promised to the first ones. So, of course, the ones hired early began salivating at the thought that their pay was going to be greater. Not so. The land owner kept his promise. In response to their annoyance, he challenges them with something like: I was not unfair to you, but I was generous to the others. Isn't that my prerogative?

OK. Bridges brings this into the modern day - a class full of university students all receiving top marks on an exam, whether they were studious or not, whether they invested time preparing for the test or wasted it on partying. Both the workers hired first and the students who studied are annoyed! Understandably so. We might pretend that we wouldn't be annoyed - just because we know it's the "right" answer.

Now, for the "what was I thinking?!" moment. My thanks to Mr. Bridges for pointing this out: I always - not sometimes, ALWAYS - put myself in the position of the workers who were hired first. I somehow have existed in this assumption that I am the worker who has toiled in the heat of the day and that my "lesson" from this text is to get comfortable with the fact that God will give others what I have earned through my day of labor. But could it be (I have to admit for me it is probably so) that I am actually a worker hired at the end of the day? I have been given so much. And none of it deserved.

God doesn't owe me anything. There is nothing - nothing - I have ever received that God gave me as repayment of some debt He owes me. Everything has been a gift given because of His unbelievably huge love for me. This brings an entirely different way of looking at all of life.

Thank You, Lord. I had no idea.